The spread looks like this : (2 crosses 1)
3.......................8
1....2......5.........7
4.......................6
1. I am this now - Two of Cups. This card is deliciously creepy! I often associate this card with The Lovers. The couple toasts each other, although I feel she is somewhat reluctant in the gesture. Today, the card feels a bit menacing. He has her up against the wall, and it looks friendly, but she has her hand placed protectively in front of her womb. He surrounds her completely, and blood drips on the floor, though there are no obvious wounds on either of them.
I am being a bit reluctant about love right now, fearful of the hurt that can go along with it. That emotion is causing me to be difficult.
2. This is what bugs me - The Devil. This Devil is one of my favorite! He is so sneaky, so creepy! I can just imagine he is tippy-toeing through some unsuspecting's house! The ways I have bound myself to "less than the best", even outright harmful behaviors, bugs me. Worst of all, there really is no devil I can blame it on, because most of my problems I create for myself with bad habits, procrastination being chief among them, and bad attitudes.
3. What I like about myself - Six of Wands. However, I always seem to land on my feet, victorious. I usually manage to accomplish whatever I set my mind to, and I feel very proud of that.
4. What I don't like about myself - Ten of Swords. Sometimes, I get absolutely certain that doom is upon me, and I kind of just give up and give in, and don't do anything about the situation. When that happens, I wallow way longer in the misery of the situation than I probably should, letting it best me. I need to embrace less of the victim mentality that goes along with this card so often and more of the "completion" thought. The Anna K tarot displays it very well, with the image of the man walking away from his place of defeat. That single image was the reason I HAD to have that deck.
5. My talent - Queen of Swords. I am a sharp, analytical thinker, with a way with words. Those things have served me well, in school, and as a writer. I am honest, and I cut straight to the point.
6. My temptation - Knight of Cups. I am often tempted to lose myself in love, in romance. Sometimes I am more in love with the thought of being in love than I am willing to work on the tough issues that go along with a relationship. I am often tempted to use my words to manipulate the situation, any situation, to one that suits me better. I often think I am being sincere in a moment, but often, upon serious reflection, I realize that I was swept up in that moment.
7. My personal quest - Justice. This is no surprise to me. I have a keen sense of right and wrong, and I hate feeling like I am on the losing end of that stick. I feel very strongly that my childrens' father did wrong by all of us, and we are embroiled in court proceedings that are supposed to be righting that wrong, as much as it is possible. I also feel very strongly that the world is right when everything is in balance, and I spend so much time as a mother trying to teach my kids about personal responsibility and logical consequences of ones' actions, good and bad.
8. My current guardian angel - Ace of Swords. My current guardian angel is in fact represented by an angel today! I see the Ace of Swords as cutting through illusions to the heart of a matter, so my current guardian angel must be clarity.
The shadow card, at the base of the deck, for this reading is the Lovers, mirroring my first position card, the Two of Cups. This couple seems to be equally into each other, more on common ground. They are so wrapped up in the moment of their embrace that they do not even notice that the man is being bit by a viper! I have been so wrapped up in my relationship, and the impending move, that I have not been paying close attention to much else. I have, in some ways, put my life on hold, waiting for the real one to start. But this is my real life, too, what is happening right here, right now.
I like keeping a blog so that I can have snapshots in time of where I was, back when. I keep good journals, but I like the pictures that go along with blogging, and I like the insights I have been giving by sharing pieces of my journey. So thank you all for that!
These images are from the Deviant Moon tarot by Patrick Valenza and the Anna K.
Reference: paganism-new-age.blogspot.com
